A Door Closes

What do you do when your plans fall through? Are you the type that has a nervous breakdown? Do you cry about the changes? Do you worry about tomorrow?

I learned an important lesson this weekend in being fluid, and accepting change. On Friday, after work, I went to pick up the remaining text book I needed for college. Because I was purchasing it from my home college, I thought I would use my grant money. Unfortunately I was told at the financial aid office that I wasn’t receiving grant money this year because I’ve reached my “credit cap”.

“How can this be?” I asked in bewilderment, after all, I only started accepting grant money last year, and figured I had 4 years worth of money total. At this point, dread and fear swept through my mind simultaneously, and I had to sit down before I fell over! It turns out I missed a crucial e-mail somehow, and as a result, missed my chance to appeal their decision. Surprise! To compound matters, I was told that I was past the refund drop period, so if I backed out I would owe the school 25% of the cost of the dropped courses!

I left the school very upset. I didn’t get my book. By the time I returned home, I had canceled courses I’m taking at two other colleges , and electronically dropped all but one final course at my home college. I’m a fish out of water, enduring a slow painful death.

As I lay in bed Friday night, with a puffy tear streaked face, I somehow started to find peace. “There is a reason for this Brandi” I heard a small voice saying over and over. On Saturday morning, my mood was no longer down in the dumps. Instead I felt light, and cheery, and I understood that God has closed a door.

As a Christian I’ve learned that when a door is closed, great things are happening. God’s watching out for me, and has better things planned.

Maybe I would have struggled with my class load this semester. Maybe I would have injured my back in my Pilates class. Maybe I just needed to provide more time for my current job, working with high needs children at the elementary school. Maybe I need to ensure more time is spent at home with my loved ones this winter. I may never know the reasons why my path was altered this way, but I know I have Someone watching out for me. I’ve resolved to be fluid, accepting what I’m dealt, and thriving in my circumstances.

I hope you choose to be fluid in your life too. Listen to that still small voice, and know that you may not be the one in control, as much as you think you are!


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